Current Standings
Picklez 70 (Tied for 4th place, 4 points behind the leader)
BabySteps 62 (8th place)
LG 68 (6th place)
Hangtime 60 (dead last)
Tiny Tanks 73 (2nd place)
LG is nipping at my heels, but Tiny Tanks has a nearly insurmountable lead.
Week Eight Picks
Here it is midseason, and I'm still getting surprised! Not good. My prediction is a NO vs IND SuperBowl.
HOU @ BUF - The real question is: Can BUF win 3 times in a row? I don't think so. HOU is a much better team than CAR. Of course, NYJ should have beat BUF. Will the LG "Screwston" theory hold true? Picklez Pick: HOU
CLE @ CHI - As much as I hate to say it, CLE is awful. CHI isn't the pick of the litter either, but I think that they have enough juice to beat CLE at home. Picklez Pick: CHI
SEA @ DAL - I'll have to hand it to Tony Homo. He was firing on all cylinders against ATL last week. The Suckhawks aren't 4/13ths as good as ATL. Picklez Pick: DAL
STL @ DET - Another game honoring Stirquilius, Roman god of Feces. This is STL last chance to avoid the dreaded 0-16. Desperation is in the air, but DET wants to double their wins this week at home. Picklez Pick: DET
SF @ IND - SF has played horribly the last two games. Are they merely giant killers? I'll just say this. The way PeyPey is over performing and Eli is underperforming, I may have to bring back my theory of the Power of Manning! I don't think SF has what it takes to beat IND at home. Picklez Pick: SF
MIA @ NYJ - This seems like a pretty easy pick, but it isn't. The Jets haven't been performing well as of late. MIA had a heck of a game against NO, but they still came up short. I'm going with NYJ. By the way, Flight Crew > Dolphins Cheerleaders. Just sayin'. Picklez Pick: NYJ
NYG @ PHI - Upset #1. I know that PHI won against WAS on Monday night, but WAS sucks. The Giants lost to the best team in the NFC two weeks ago and the NFC champion last week. A road win is just what they need to boost their morale. Picklez Pick: NYG
DEN @ BAL - DEN sucks. BAL is solid. What I'm afraid of is a massive conspiracy to convince everyone that DEN is good. Picklez Pick: BAL
JAC @ TEN - TEN needs to win this game. I really don't understand what's wrong with them. This is really a 50/50 chance either way. Picklez Pick: TEN
OAK @ SD - OAK can surprise you every once in a while. Same with SD and I don't mean this in a good way. SD should handily defeat the Gayders. Picklez Pick: SD
MIN @ GB - This is the game to watch this week. There will be copious amounts of hate. MIN is better though. Picklez Pick: MIN
CAR @ ARI - I don't know what happened to CAR this year. They are just terrible. ARI isn't really living up to their potential. They're doing alright, but they should be much better. Picklez Pick: ARI
ATL @ NO - The Monday night game is a doozy! NO will win, but it will be one hell of a ride. Picklez Pick: NO
Mike Ditka - "THE ONLY THING PREVENT DEFENSE DOES IS PREVENT YOU FROM WINNING."
Because I spent last weekend at a clinic! Yes, this is the highly anticipated report for the weekend 10-23-09 until 10-25-09.
Celebratory Dinner
Friday marked Mr. and Mrs. Man's 26th wedding anniversary. A big congratulations to them. I couldn't even make it one quarter the way there in my marriage. They've been married over a quarter of a century. That's quite an accomplishment. In addition to not killing each other, they have both raised two fine sons. One day I hope to have a relationship as solid as theirs.
The dinner guests included the Medic, PFC, Big Red, Rita, The Masher, The Rooster, Mr. A and Mrs. A (from Talladega) and myself. I had a ribeye steak. It was delicious.
Disagreement
As the evening wore on, I had discussions with the Masher about proper bowing in procedures and he said that he is breaking from tradition. In case you don't know, traditionally, the highest ranking belt bows in the class. He begins by bowing to Kaicho, then the next ranking belt bows into the lead person, and then so on down to the 1st and 2nd degrees. Here's how it works at a function:
Master Toy (8th deg.) - Kaicho, ni rei!
Master C (7th deg.) - Hu-kaicho T, ni rei!
Highest ranking Shihan - Hu-kaicho C, ni rei!
Highest ranking Shihan-dai (4th deg.) - [To all Shihan regardless of rank (generally 4th and above)] Shihan, ni rei!
Highest ranking Senpai (3rd deg.) - Shihan-dai, ni rei!
Highest ranking Yudansha (2nd deg. or below) - Senpai, ni rei!
Highest ranking kyu grade (1st kyu or below) - Yudansha, ni rei!
Here's how I do it in my class:
Picklez (chief instructor/4th degree) - Kaicho, ni rei!
Picklez - Hu-kaicho T; Hu-kaicho C, ni rei!
See above
Now if I have a guest instructor who is of higher rank, I allow them to bow in the class and I take my normal place as per a function. I don't bow the class in per se. The Masher proposes this if he were to come to my class:
Picklez - Kaicho, ni rei!
Picklez - Hu-kaicho T; Hu-kaicho C, ni rei!
Masher - Sensei Picklez, ni rei!
Next ranking belt - Shihan Masher, ni rei!
Et. al.
I completely understand his philosophy. He feels that if he is a guest in someone's normal class, he should not take precedence over the instructor. I disagree with that because we should follow normal traditional protocols. The Masher was adamant that the instructor should be given the utmost respect; therefore, if he is a guest he should bow into the instructor. At clinics and functions; however, we should follow normal protocols.
My arguement was that if he is a guest at someone's school, shouldn't he respect how the instructor wants to bow in? Furthermore, what constitutes a "clinic"? Does this mean it is a multi-dojo function? What if he and a black belt from another class happen to visit my class on the same night. Does this mean it is now a clinic? That would be unfair to the off night students because they weren't invited. I know we're dealing in semantics here, but the real issue here is tradition. Bowing in is bowing in and if we start deviating from our traditions then only chaos will ensue.
Scolding
This lead to a brief discussion on how respect works. As part of my arguement for tradition, I explained that when I'm bowing in, sometimes I am merely respecting the rank and not the person holding the rank. Jerkwad, FuckFace, and Queen Bee all outrank me, but I don't have a shred of respect for them. I respect their rank and what they had to "do" to "earn" it, but I don't respect them as people because they don't respect me.
The Masher got upset and told me that I should respect them. My response was that I won't ever respect them until they do something worthy of my respect. After all, they are not examples that should be followed. If I followed their examples, I would walk around like an arrogant prick, have poor technique, not teach a successful class, not help with necessary yet menial tasks, show up late, and be disrespectful to everyone I deem unworthy. By the way, I don't respect these people, but I don't go out of my way to disrespect them. I smile and bow and swallow all their bullshit and suffer all their abuse.
The clinic
Overall, I think things went pretty well. It was fun to have the Masher lead the clinic and I just did katas. I felt like I was back in the old J'ville dojo hammering out my forms.
Bury my ears at Squeaky Shoe
There was a battle raging throughout the entire clinic. The Diva had brought her granddaughter and the baby was clad in noise making footwear. In the sole of each shoe there was a soul sucking device that emitted a loud "squeak" everytime the wearer took a step. At first it was a curiosity (squeaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueak) as you tried to determine the source of the noise. Once you figured out what was happening (squeaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueak), it became a slight annoyance. As (squeaksqueaksqueaksqueak) time wore on (squeaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueak), you found that (squeaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueak) you were having trouble concentrating on the task (squeaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueaksqueak) at hand. Until SQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAK you began to question your very SQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAK sanity!SQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAK!SQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAK
SQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAK!
SQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAK! SQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAK!
SQUEAKSQUEAK! (sweet silence for about 5 seconds)
SQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAK!
Arrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!!!
The only humor I could get out of the situation was by looking at other people's reactions. I turned to PFC and he squinched up his face in pain at the sound. The Medic looked calmer and said, "Wait until Big Red gets here!"
When Big Red finally arrived I watched him when he heard the first few squeaks. He had a puzzled expression on his face as he peered in my direction. I simply shrugged my shoulders as if I didn't know what was happening. A few seconds later the squeaky shoe clad child toddled past him. He glanced at me again and his eyes glared in consternation. His fists clenched tightly and he shook his head angrily. Inside, I was bursting with peals of laughter.
Popping and locking
I was asked to give my "Breaking Omnibus" to the group because we would be breaking boards that day. I delivered the lesson as efficiently and as eloquently as I could. At the end of the clinic, Sensei Tor made all the under 50 black belts do an improv speed break. Basically, 4 other black belts held up boards and you had to quickly shatter them without any preparation.
When my turn arrived, I asked, "This is a simulation of 4 attackers, right? So I should just do what I would normally do in that situation?" Mr. Tor answered in the affirmative. When the command was given and the boards were raised, I ran out of the gym. Everyone had a good laugh, but I was told that I had to actually break the boards. I didn't do too well. I know I did the two finger hold punch and the Shoryuken (rising dragon punch). It was awesome and amusing... to me anyway.
Back at the ranch
I'd be lying if I said I didn't get drunk. I know I had some Jaegerbombs (Jaegermeister and Red Bull - not the blood of the famed test pilot and congressman Chuck Yeager as I had hoped). I also consumed several beers, a few Carbombs, and a shot of Crown Especial.
Drunk Talk
I have a new social dynamic formula: Alcohol + Big Red + Masher = Huge Debate over Y* Karate. Before I begin, I want to say that Big Red is the most passionate person I know when it comes to the future of our style. He wears his emotions on his sleeve and I applaud his courage.
These talks between Big Red and the Masher always result in the same questions. 1) Why does the organization continue to promote people who seemingly do little to contribute to the growth of the style? 2) Why does the organization fail to recognize or reward exemplary behavior? I've noticed that the Masher's message is always the same: Why does Big Red allow himself to get upset over these issues?
Both of them really want the same thing. They want to see Y* succeed. The difference between them is that the Masher accepts his role in the structure (even though it is failing) while Big Red (and myself) seek to change the structure to make it more efficient and better equipped to perpetuate for the years to come.
It's a generational thing. He is reaping the benefits of his long career. He is given respect, rank, and title in the here an now. Unfortunately, for those of us in the younger age bracket, we see the current structure and we realize that we will never be able to obtain these things for ourselves. Not because of a poor work ethic, but because our current structure doesn't promote growth.
It's a lot like the state of Social Security in our country. There are people drawing SS right now. Those folks aren't the ones currently contributing capital to the system. They are merely reaping the benefits and many of them paid in the past so they are just cashing in and rightly so. Our current generation is pouring money into the system as well, but we are being told that there won't be anything for us when we are eligible to participate in the program. So you end up having apathy on the side of the older generation and despair on the side of the younger generation.
Simply put, the Masher doesn't care about improving the current structure in hopes of providing for the future because he is getting the benefits now. His standard response to us is to not worry about such things. Again, what he doesn't see is that in the future there won't be a GM to promote us to the rank he will be receiving. Our careers are pretty much ended before they started.
One of the things that made me uncomfortable was that Big Red was using me as an example of the failing system. I couldn't support his arguments without looking like an egotistical prick so I had to keep quiet. Well, since this is my blog, I'm going to say something here.
Big Red feels that I should have been promoted to Shihan to prove a point that hard work will be rewarded. There are current Shihans that are not contributing as much as they should who did not get their Shihan "on time". We both feel that this could have sent a message to those Shihans that they are screw ups.
What I've come to realize, however, is that those particular Shihans wouldn't ever get the message. All they would see is that someone got something before they were supposed to instead of understanding that the person got rewarded because they worked hard. They will only see the end result rather the motivations behind it. They're just dumb asses.
Another realization that I've made is that the Masher is pretty much just yanking Big Red's chain all the time. He knows things are screwed up, but he is still benefiting so why upset the apple cart. Furthermore, he is having a really fun time debating with Big Red and watching his reactions.
One of the things that bothered me about the discussion was the Masher's flippant attitude toward me and my career in Y*. Basically, he sort of said that I don't deserve a promotion and that I'm really not anything special. A few years ago, I would have shrugged that off and would probably agreed with him. But that was before I started taking grief from a bunch of idiots. I do enjoy working hard for the organization but it only takes one dumb ass to make me want to quit all together.
C. Man funnies
As the night wore on, Big Red got drunker and drunker. Eventually, he said that we bow too much. C's response was, "Yeah, I know what you mean. That's part of the reason I don't like going to church. They have all that praying!" We all laughed and he went on to explain that they do a prayer at the beginning, do a prayer after a scripture reading, do a prayer after a hymn, do a prayer after the sermon, and do a prayer before dismissal. Why not just do one prayer to cover all those things?
The other funny occurred when Big Red went to wake up Rita. He was sloppy drunk so he was pretty much hollering in her ear. She finally stood up and she was a little pissed off. Big Red suggested that she take her frustrations out by kicking C in the nuts. C said very calmly, "Rita, you need to think about that before you do it."
I also learned that C is going to be a "douchebag" for Halloween. He's grown a soul patch and is going to spike his hair and wear a pink polo shirt with the collar popped. He called Big Red and asked to borrow his plaid shorts to complete the outfit. Funny!
.22 Rifle Sniper Challenge
We spent Sunday afternoon washing the various Ranch vehicles. The Medic came over to rotate his tires and before I left, he, PFC, and I shot some targets. We used various shooting positions and even had timed events. It was a lot of fun. The Medic turned out to be the best marksman. PFC was a close second and I brought up the rear. I used to be really good with a .22 in my college days. Today, not so much. I do think that they need to adjust the sites on the bolt action .22 we were using.
END OF LINE
Current Standings
Picklez 62 (Tied for 4th place, 3 points behind the leader)
BabySteps 53 (8th place)
LG 59 (6th place)
Hangtime 52 (dead last)
Tiny Tanks 63 (Tied for 2nd)
You know, Hangtime missed an entire week of picks and he's only one point behind Babysteps.
Week Seven Picks
There were 4 upsets last week. Four! What the hell?! That's football I guess. My new philosophy is to pick who is more likely to lose rather than who I think is going to win. If I had done that, I would have picked the WAS/KC game correctly. I've got 3 upsets this week.
GB @ CLE - It's official. Cleveland sucks. I normally wait until the middle of the season to make such spectacular claims, but I think it's safe for me to let everyone know. It's sad, but true. There's always next year... Picklez Pick: GB
SD @ KC - Conventional wisdom sez: "Teams that lose on Monday night typically lose again the next Sunday." Common sense says, "Kansas Shitty sucks!" Now I know they beat WAS, but WAS lost to DET. (I think there is a new league rule stating that no team shall go completely defeated ever again.) Honestly, SD should have won that game Monday night. They lost because their Special Teams gave up 14 points. When I say, "Special" I mean it. I'm talking "short bus" special. Picklez Pick: SD
IND @ STL - The new league rule does not apply to Suck Louis and it certainly shouldn't apply to PeyPey and the Colts. Fresh off the bye week, they have no excuses if they lose to STL (except the new league rule). Picklez Pick: IND
MIN @ PIT - This is a noodle scratcher. PIT has been sort of inconsistent and their defense isn't as explosive without Palomalu. Here are my questions: Will the MIN O-line be able to protect Brett Favre and open up running lanes for Peterson? If no, will Brett be able to weather a storm of sacks from Harrison? Picklez Pick: PIT
NE @ TB - I'm imagining the speech Billicheck gave in the locker room at half-time last week against TEN. "Fear does not exist in this stadium does it? Defeat does not exist in this stadium does it? Pain does not exist in this stadium does it? Mercy is for the weak. We do not train to be merciful. If a man confronts you on the field, then he is the enemy, and the enemy deserves no mercy!" 59-0. Sweet Fancy Moses! So anyway, Tampa Gay is a much crappier team so... Picklez Pick: NE
SF @ HOU - Upset #1. SF has had a week off and hopefully they have recovered mentally from the thrashing that ATL delivered to them. Also, I hope the SF secondary has learned not to showboat while the play is still in progress. Screwston will probably do it's normal thing... Picklez Pick: SF
NYJ @ OAK - INTs! Jets! Jets! Jets! Great Googly Moogly! Five interceptions! Five! And one of them was in OT! Also, I don't know how the Gaiders were able to beat PHI. Anyway, if Dirty Sanchez wants redemption, he better get it here. You can't lose to Suckalo and Suckland back to back and hope to make the playoffs. Picklez Pick: NYJ
BUF @ CAR - I don't have to think too hard for this one. Picklez Pick: CAR
CHI @ CIN - Upset#2. I really think that CHI could have beaten ATL. Pork Cutlet was up to his old tricks again with turnovers in the red zone. It all comes down to this: CIN offense cannot stand up to the CHI defense. Picklez Pick: CHI
ATL @ DAL - Upset #3. I know DAL is coming off their bye week to a home game, but ATL has put a road victory and a home victory under it's belt since then. I'm not sure that Homo can perform under the pressure that the ATL defense can deliver. Picklez Pick: ATL
NO @ MIA - NO is an unstoppable machine right now. MIA will be like a seaborn mammal out of water. Picklez Pick: NO
ARI @ NYG - ARI beat the Suckhawks. No big deal. The Giants lost to NO (a much tougher team than ARI and SEA combined). Picklez Pick: NYG
PHI @ WAS - What a crapfest! No, seriously. It's like a festival honoring Stirquilius, Roman god of Feces! Picklez Pick: PHI
Watching the ATL/CHI game with BabySteps as Jake Cutler throws his first interception. BabySteps: "I KNEW HE'D COUGH IT UP. THAT'S THE JAKE CUTLER I'VE COME TO KNOW AND LOVE!"
I want to get this out there before all the late night shows steal my joke.
Basically, the Governator signed a law stating that is illegal to use cell phones while driving unless you have a hands free device. In other words, no holding the phone while driving. The California First Lady was photographed doing just that recently. Arnold said on Twitter: "Thanks for brining her violations to my attention. There's going to be swift action."
Here's the conversation:
Arnold: Maria, you need to stop holding your cell phone while you're driving.
Maria: I'm not doing that. It's just a rumor.
Arnold: [produces photographs] It's not a RUMOR!
Hahahahahahahaha! I'm good enough to write for Leno.
THAT IS ALL
Current Standings
Picklez 53 (5th place, 2 points behind the leader)
BabySteps 47 (8th place)
LG 51 (6th place)
Hangtime 44 (dead last)
Tiny Tanks 54 (Tied for 2nd)
LG was this week's point leader with 10. I went with all favorites except in one game this week.
Week Six Picks
I only have one upset pick for this week and it was a pretty tough pick.
HOU @ CIN - I'm just not understanding how Cincinasty keeps winning games... What annoyed me last week was a highlight on one of the networks that called CIN the Cardiac Cats. That's the Browns' nickname (Cardiac Kids or Kardiac Kidz for you urban dwellers). Screwston might do their normal job and hurt me, but emotionally, I'll accept an Ouchostinko loss. Picklez Pick: CIN
DET @ GB - Even GB should be able to beat Detroit Suck City. Picklez Pick: GB
BAL @ MIN - BAL has been playing well, but MIN has been playing better. Also, the Favreings are at home. Picklez Pick: MIN
NYG @ NO - This is definitely a preview game for the playoffs. Possibly the NFC championship. Both teams are looking good, but NO has a more explosive offense and homefield advantage. Picklez Pick: NO
CLE @ PIT - A win against Suckalo will not be enough to inspire the BROWNS to a victory over the reigning SuperBowl Champs. Picklez Pick: PIT
CAR @ TB - Flying high off their win against WAS, they should be able to put the hurt on Tampa Gay. Picklez Pick: CAR
KC @ WAS - It's the battle of the racist mascots! I'll change their names temporarily to the WAS Rednecks and the KC - Land Grabbers. Both teams are sort of sucky, but only one team is Kansas Shitty. Picklez Pick: WAS
STL @ JAC - This should really be a no brainer, but this could be the game where STL actually wins. If the same JAC team that got decimated/destroyed/dominated by SEA, hits the field, then STL has a 51% chance of beating them. Picklez Pick: STL
PHI @ OAK - Apparently, McNabb's McRib isn't hindering him. They should be able to beat the Gayders. Picklez Pick: PHI
ARI @ SEA - Yes, the return of Hasselbeck allowed them to decimate/destroy/dominate Jackassville, but ARI is a much better team. It will be close, but it will be my lone upset. Picklez Pick: ARI
TEN @ NE - Neither team is that great, but NE is better. Picklez Pick: NE
BUF @ NYJ - Defeated in the final seconds, the NYJ simply CANNOT allow Suckalo to defeat them in their home stadium. I don't care what the stats show about teams that take a Monday night loss. Picklez Pick: NYJ
CHI @ ATL - ATL played mercilessly against SF. Can they do it again at home? I don't have much faith in Pork Cutlet over Matt "Hunt for Red October" Ryan. Picklez Pick: ATL
DEN @ SD - Luck can only take you so far. DEN has been extremely lucky which is only one letter off from sucky. SD should be able to hand them their first defeat (but then again so should have CIN, NE, and DAL). It's like LG says: DEN just isn't that good.
From a Twitter feed: "I WANTED TO SEE DETROIT WIN. I'VE BEEN THERE. IT'S LIKE GOD TOOK A SHIT ON A PARKING LOT. THEY DESERVE SOME GOOD NEWS."
I found this video amusing.
Everyone knows that dating in general is somewhat dangerous, but it is an accepted practice because that is the only way to meet people and find potential mates. Interweb dating adds an even greater potential for danger because it is so easy to be dishonest when sitting behind a monitor and typing on a keyboard. There are ways to discern the honest from the dishonest, but they are unreliable at best.
My point being is that you can take precautions like meeting at a public place and having friends with you or nearby without the intended date knowing about it. A simple pre-arranged signal or a pre-planned discreet meeting in the bathroom can let the undercover chaperones know how things are going. The girl in this video did none of those things.
Why the video is funny to me?
First, it seems to have been recorded by the girl's brother and it seems genuine.
Second, the girl was OK and hadn't been harmed in anyway.
Third, the girl's insistence that she is 18 years old and capable of taking care of herself (despite the fact that she lives at home).
Fourth, the brother's continued use of the words "in the butt".
Fifth, the mom's reaction to the brother.
END OF LINE
Check out this article. For those of you too lazy to read let me summarize: Basically, there is a species of birds in which "higher" quality females will mate with "lower" quality males. Translation for Picklez: Jackpot!!!
Actually, if you read the article carefully, you'll find that there were mismatches in mating and it can be inferred that the higher quality females that mated with the lower quality males did so as an act of desperation rather than not mate at all. Once again, Jackpot!!!
In all seriousness, this study shouldn't be so groundbreaking. The difference between birds and humans is that humans are self-aware and can attribute their own sense of value and self-worth. This in turn affects how they are treated by other people and how they allow themselves to be treated by others. That being said, primates are the only species of animal that engages in coitus for social reasons outside of procreation.
This all goes back to my old college dating motto: "Keep your hopes high and your standards low!" If I could just get some hot females to adhere to this policy and then get them in a situation where they are forced to interact with me, then I might actually improve my personal situation and my general disposition on life.
END OF LINE
There's a lot of things you shouldn't do at home. Sparring is one of them.
People are stupid. I know this. My job counts on it, but really...
THAT IS ALL
Current Standings
Picklez 45 (Tied for 4th, 1 point behind the leader)
BabySteps 39 (8th place)
LG 41 (Tied for 6th place)
Hangtime 36 (dead last)
Tiny Tanks 45 (Tied for 4th)
I was this week's point leader with 12!!! I'm feeling good about this week's picks, too. Is that a bad thing?
Week Five Picks
I've got a few more "upset" picks than I usually like, but we'll just have to see how it goes.
CLE @ BUF - This has to be it. Neither team is any good and conventional wisdom says to go with the home field advantage. I think that if the Browns don't want to go 0 -16, they are going to have to win this game. Picklez Pick: CLE
PIT @ DET - Not too worried about this pick. Picklez Pick: PIT
DAL @ KC - DAL shouldn't have lost against DEN. They better not lose against Kansas Shitty. Picklez Pick: DAL
MIN @ STL - Let me think. Favre and the Vikings or Suck Louis? Picklez Pick: MIN
OAK @ NYG - It worries me that there are so many easy picks in a row. Picklez Pick: NYG
TB @ PHI - So now Tampa Gay has to travel to the City of Brotherly Love (only 333 homicides in 2008) and I don't think they are up to the task of beating the Eagles even if the Dog Murderer played on both sides of the ball. Picklez Pick: PHI
WAS @ CAR - I know that CAR had a week off, and that WAS isn't that great; however, CAR (specifically Jake Delhomme) have yet to impress me. Upset time. Picklez Pick: WAS
CIN @ BAL - BAL nearly beat NE and CIN could barely beat CLE in overtime. I hate both these teams immensely. Just sayin'. Picklez Pick: BAL
ATL @ SF - This was a really tough pick for me. SF is a very solid team. ATL doesn't seem to do well in road games. They really should have been able to beat NE, but they couldn't get their offense firing. They've had a week of rest, but SF is determined to wash the stink of defeat from themselves. A win at home will make everyone sit up and notice them. Picklez Pick: SF
NE @ DEN - NE is significantly better than DAL and they are starting to gel a little more. They barely beat BAL, but that is because of a fluke mistake by Brady. As always, DEN comes out of the gate pretty strongly, but I think NE is just the sort of team to get them settle down and accept the saddle of suckitude. Picklez Pick: NE
HOU @ ARI - For once, HOU didn't screw me. But that was last week against OAK. ARI has the talent necessary to beat HOU and if they don't then they are fundamentally broken. Picklez Pick: ARI
JAC @ SEA - I watched the thrashing that SEA took from IND last week. You know you suck when when the opposing team puts in their second string defense and allows you to score two touchdowns in the last 5 minutes of the game. If JAC plays as physically as they did against TEN, then SEA is in for a hometown spanking. Picklez Pick: JAC
IND @ TEN - What happened to TEN? They were great last year. Here's my theory: All the defenses in the league prepared for a high powered Steve Young offense. What they didn't expect was for him to have a mental breakdown and rely on a competent veteran QB. He pushed himself to his limits and caught everyone offguard. Not so this year. They were ready for Lumbergh this season. Also, IND is currently unstoppable. Picklez Pick: IND
NYJ @ MIA - The Jets got their tires deflated a little bit, but even with quasi-flat tires they should be able to hand the Smart asses of the Sea a loss at Pheaderation Stadium. Picklez Pick: NYJ
GO BROWNS!!! SERIOUSLY, DON'T LET ME DOWN!
I had a pretty eventful weekend (10-02-09 thru 10-04-09). I spent the better part of Friday evening at Roswell HQ listening to yet another Penny Arcade Dungeons and Dragons podcast. I want to play 4th edition D&D so badly! I'd be happy to DM if I could just get a group together that wanted to play.
Test in Auburn
Hangtime and Overboard picked me up in the morning to make the trip to Auburn. Overboard was testing for Sandan. On the way over there we noticed the construction on 75/85N through the city and made a note to be sure to take 285 on the way back. ***Spoiler Alert*** We didn't remember.
We arrived at the testing facility at 11:30 CST. The testing group was very small. It consisted of 4 people. Three of them were testing for Shodan and then there was Overboard. I would have automatically failed the 3 people testing for shodan since I have never seen them before. (But that's why they don't put me on testing boards.)
Little Ones
I played with Shihan Moff's (6th dan) kids for a good 15 or 20 minutes. They are half Japanese (on their mother's side) and really cute kids. They enjoyed punching and kicking me. Shihan Moff was happy to get a break from their little fists of fury.
Singled Out
We eventually went outside and practiced for the big demo at the Dothan Tournament. I was having trouble concentrating because I didn't really want to be out there. At one point, Master T asked Master C, "How does it look?" To which Master C responded, "It looked fine until Picklez and PFC screwed up in the back row..."
Oops. Now you know why you don't include Picklez in a demo. Because he sucks. After the comment was made, Queen Bee, King Dick, and Fuckface turned around and gave me a "I should practice more" look. Whatever.
Class Secretary
I'm not sure why, but apparently, I am the only person with enough foresight to write shit down. We were doing a lot of discussion about the entrance ceremonies and moves and what not, so I brought out my Karate Journal and took notes so that we wouldn't have to reinvent the wheel 4 weeks from now. Once again I got suspicious/disapproving looks from the Axis of Evil. I hate them all so very much. Master C did make it a point to tell me that he wanted me to e-mail him all my notes so that he could put it in a letter to the instructors. He then changed his order to include me drafting a letter for him. No problem.
There was a funny moment when a Honbu black belt walked up to me and said, "You need to remind Master C that if people don't show up to the Friday night practice, then they shouldn't be allowed to do the demo!" I gave her an incredulous look and wrote down exactly what she said. She watched me write it down (along with her name) and she said, "You're not going to show that to Sensei are you?"
"Um. Yes. He asked me to forward all my notes to him." I replied. I then laughed as I saw my words sink in and she started to have a mini panic attack.
Reprimand
When sparring time for the testing came around, I sparred a round with one of the shodans. The Masher took me aside and told me that I'm supposed to change belts when I spar. He explained that the belt is not for everyday use and to have it is an honor because it was a present from GM.
I certainly accept this philosophy, and I won't commit this breach of etiquette again. I do, however, have issues with the whole "special belt" thing. First, it wasn't a present because I had to pay $100 for the belt. Is it an honor to have it? Yes, but it is certainly NOT a present. Second, the only reason I have one is because I was ordered directly by Master C to purchase one. All the regular readers of this blog know that I hate wearing that belt. I only do it because it makes the higher ups happy. On the upside, now I can use the special belt as a "get out of sparring free" card at black belt testings.
Whistling
After my light scolding, I bowed out of the rest of sparring and helped judge the sparring. I broke out my timer and whistle. I don't know what it was, but I was whistling like a champ! Seriously. I sounded like a professional referee. I was awesome.
River of tears
As we were wrapping up the workout, Master C noticed the two little ones climbing up on something. He said my name and motioned for me to get them to stop/climb down. Before I could make a move, King Dick darted over there and yelled at the kids who are 5 and 3 by the way. He wasn't excessively loud, but he was extremely condescending and there was an undertone of violence in his voice. Don't get me wrong, I do that all the time in my class, but the kids are significantly older. He went over there and scolded them as if they were dogs. The younger one started crying. He was so close to being able to get through the day without a major incident...
Awesome nachos
We stopped at a little sandwich shop in Auburn, and I had a pretty delicious sandwich. I got to try some very interesting nachos. Basically, they are Doritos with hot nacho cheese poured over them. Tasty! Mrs. Man said that these would be available at the next Man Ranch gathering (Oct. 24th). I cannot wait.
A funny
I ordered a sandwich called the "Big Momma". It had pastrami, meunster cheese, and roast beef. They had a weird system where you would order your sandwich and then sometime later they would ask you what you wanted on it. The way they asked you was weird though. Instead of saying, "What would you like on your sandwich?" They say, "How's your __________?"
So the lady asks me, "How's your Big Momma?" and I said, "She's fine. Thanks for asking." The entire staff laughed as if they hadn't heard that joke a million times. I appreciated that.
So tired of all the bull feces
There's a lot going on karate-wise, and frankly, I'm sick of it. I'm tired of people coming to me for leadership but not having the authority to provide it. I'm tired of the egos and I'm tired of the jack asses. I'm tired of good behavior being ignored (or at best passively accepted) and bad behavior being rewarded.
A plan is formulated
I've decided to give the Kangeiko demo competition one more chance. We're going to choreograph something so legendary that it will be talked about for the next 5 years. "Tentlanta" is only the first phase. When we perform at the demo competition and then probably lose to some boring ass sword bullshit, I will openly oppose attendance to the demo competition for the rest of my career. I don't want to go into too much detail, but it will be awesome and when we lose, people (outside the TA dojo) will probably complain. I don't want booing when the results are called but I definitely want to hear some surprised reactions (and not the positive kind). Again, I don't want to give too much away, but there will be a Rickroll!
The hotness
I was treated to some pictures of one of my students in civilian clothes. Muy fuerte!
Something a little lighter
Here are some items that are here for the funny!
Shredder
To say this is awesome is an understatement. To say it is the most righteous accordian performance ever is probably about right.
Not a fan of Twitter...
But Overboard pointed me to this. You better believe I will be using some of these lines. They are very funny. Thanks, Overboard!
My writing talent
I sort of feel my talent is going to waste a little bit. I've decided that I think I want to actively start writing pr0n movies. Most especially the one's based off of mainstream movies. Some of these movies may actually exist.
F*ck Club - This will be a sort of gonzo gangbang/bukkake themed movie. Sample dialogue: "First rule of 'F*ck Club', is that you tell everyone about 'F*ck Club'!"
Dildoformers - Tagline: Robots between your thighs. Yeah, it's about some adult toys that get hit by the "All Spunk" and transform from being mere inanimate objects into human beings.
He's Just Not Far Enough Into You - This one will have a sort of rom/com feel to it. That and dudes with giant schlongs.
The Time Traveller's B*tch - It's about a guy who travels in time to screw women from different time periods. There'll be a sort of fetish thing going on in the scenes. You'll have one actress dressed as a cave girl, maybe a 3 way scene with two chicks dressed up in ren fest bodices. A girl dressed as a hippie. You get the picture. The big twist is that he ends up being his own great, great, great grandfather.
Desired - This will be a rip off of Wanted. The key is to cast an actress that resembles Angelina Jolie. The special effect/hook is that the dude can curve his splooge.
That's all for now. By the way, you don't have to tell me. I know I'm a genius.
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