113 posts from 2009

No, you didn't misread.  I didn't do a post for week 16 since I was on vacation.

Current Standings

Picklez  161  (4th place, 10 points behind the leader)

BabySteps  152 (8th place but essentially last)

LG  152 (7th place somehow.  Must be a tie breaker thing.)

Tiny Tanks 142 (3rd place)

Week Seventeen Picks

I'm one point behind old Tiny Tanks.  I want to at least end up 3rd for the season, too.

IND @ BUF - "Upset #1"  They really should have won last week...  BUF starters are not good enough to beat IND 3rd string.  Picklez Pick:  IND

JAC @ CLE -  "Upset #2"  I'm happy for the Browns when they win, but do they have to keep screwing me?  Picklez Pick:  JAC

DET @ CHI - Pointless game, I think.  Picklez Pick:  CHI

SF @ STL - Yet another pointless game between two crummy teams.  Picklez Pick:  SF

MIA @ PIT - Alot of people are picking PIT to win.  I don't know why, they stopped playing 6 games ago.  Picklez Pick:  MIA*

*- this pick is NOT an endorsement of the Pheaderation

NYG @ MIN - NYG has completely self destructed.  There's plenty of the power of Manning! since PeyPey won't be playing, but NYG just can't seem to play together as a team.   May the Favre be with you!  Picklez Pick:  MIN

ATL @ TB - Back to back winning seasons for the Falcons?  I hope so.  Picklez Pick:  ATL

NE @ HOU - Screwston wants that winning season.  Picklez Pick:  HOU

PHI @ DAL - DAL is riding pretty high after beating NO.  Picklez Pick:  DAL

KC @ DEN - Ugh.  I'd rather not think about this game.  Picklez Pick:  DEN

BAL @ OAK - Is BAL still in the hunt?  I know this much.  They don't want end their season on a loss to OAK  Picklez Pick:  BAL

GB @ ARI - This is a tough pick.  I'll go with the runners up from last season.  Picklez Pick:  ARI

CIN @ NYJ - Upset #4.  It's my understanding that this game is sort of meaningful.   Picklez Pick:  CIN

BabySteps commenting on his picks:  YOU'RE AHEAD OF ME.  TO BE FRANK, I JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE. 

Remember the cute girl, Amixia, whose videos I post?  She actually commented on my blog.  Go to Post #338.  It's weird how the world works sometimes...

Let me just say this:  Amixia is really cute, a good guitar player, and an excellent singer.  She also makes my pants fit funny.

THAT IS ALL

Current Standings

Picklez  141  (5th place, 10 points behind the leader)

BabySteps  132 (8th place but essentially last)

LG  136 (7th place)

Tiny Tanks 142 (3rd place)

12 right.  Not too shabby.  I haven't had to rely on the Mr. Quarter at all.

Week Fifteen Picks

It's really coming down to the wire here.  Unless I do abominably, I should be able to stave off BabySteps.  LG would have gained another point if she had picked a winner in the MIA game.  Four Upsets this week.

IND @ JAC - The question isn't whether or not IND will rest their starters.  The question is what JAC team is going to play and is the JAC 1st string as good as the IND 2nd string.  Picklez Pick:  IND

DAL @ NO -  DAL sucks.  There's no getting around it.  They have the tools and the talent but not the will.  Picklez Pick:  NO

NE @ BUF - A suckfest to be sure.  I don't think that NE is psyched out enough to lose to BUF.  Picklez Pick:  NE

ARI @ DET - Last time I checked, DET was still terrible.  Picklez Pick:  ARI

MIA @ TEN - Upset #1.  In a question of "Who wants it more?" the answer is MIA.  Picklez Pick:  MIA

CLE @ KC - I was just as surprised as everyone else that CLE defeated PIT; however, the trend for PIT is to lay down for crummy teams.  In fact, they got the AFC Sucktacular Trifecta (KC, OAK, and CLE).   Picklez Pick:  KC

HOU @ STL - Upset #2.  Screwston is so unpredictable.  Suck Louis is predictably sucky.  Picklez Pick:  HOU

SF @ PHI - Who would have thought San Fransuckso would have beaten ARI?  PHI is firing on all cylinders and is looking to pull ahead even further in their division.  Picklez Pick:  PHI

CHI @ BAL - Wow.  Pork Cutlet is one of the worst quarterbacks of all times.  Picklez Pick:  BAL

OAK @ DEN - Will OAK surprise DEN with a road win?  I think not.  Picklez Pick:  DEN

CIN @ SD - This could be a preview of a playoff game...  Picklez Pick:  SD

GB @ PIT - Upset #4.  The season was over for PIT in their loss to OAK.  It died when they lost to CLE.  Picklez Pick:  GB

NYG @ WAS - So if Peypey gets to sit for most of his game on Thursday, the power of Manning! will get charged up considerably for Eli's use on Monday.  That's the theory anyway.  Picklez Pick:  NYG

CHECK! CHECK! CHECK! CHECK!  PINK, PINK!  WATCH THE BLITZ!

This is a public announcement.  I filed my divorce papers today, hired an investigator to find the boss, and will most likely be hiring them to serve the papers. 

The whole thing has run me about $300 plus what I have to pay to have the papers served.  Shenanigans.  I'm sort of irritated about the money, but guess what?  I'm more irritated that the Boss has been taking advantage of me all these months.  Really and truly, I probably would have given her all the way until December 2010 to get her stuff out if she had just cooperated, but now, she will have until June 30, 2010 (if she shows up to court).  I may be able to ask the court for a change to the agreement if she doesn't show.  That means on Feb. 4, 2010 everything in the house will be officially mine to throw away. 

The thing is that I probably have another 6 months worth of cleaning to do.  I don't know.  Maybe two full weekends if I pony up the money for a dumpster.  It's mainly scraps of paper, fabric and stupid art stuff.

END OF LINE

Over the weekend, BabySteps introduced me to the finer points of tasting and enjoying wine; thus, it's probably needless to say that I didn't like it.

Background

BS told me that 2010 will be the year in which I "man up" and start learning and enjoying the finer things of life.  This included becoming more educated in the art of choosing and tasting wine.

For the record, I just started drinking beer maybe a year or two ago.  I also enjoy cocktails and mixed drinks when the mood suits me.  I have never been a fan of wine.  There are only three exceptions to that.  First, I find the wine you get at communion in church is pretty tasty.  After all, it has been transubstantiated from mere fermented grapes into the very Blood of Christ.  Just sayin'.  Second, a while back I had some sparkling white wine at the Man Ranch that the Medic had brought over and I found that to be tasty.  Lastly, the plum wine that GM smuggled over is pretty good too.

Bottomline, if I am going to drink wine it needs to be sweet.  If I'm going to drink hard licquor, it needs to be sweet.  I can handle regular beer now, but I prefer the Leinenkugel Berry Weiss.  If I can't get that, Guinness.  If I absolutely have to drink an American mass marketed beer, I'll take a Bud Lite Lime or a Michelob Ultra.

His name is BabySteps and he's the worst at what he does...

In case you're wondering what that is, it is opening a bottle of wine.  Also, for you non-geeks, I'm referring to one of Wolverine's catch phrases.  So anyway, instead of using a cork screw BabySteps uses this thing:

Ah-so

  Instead of using a traditional cork screw, BabySteps opts for this Wolverine type claw thingy.

0 for 2

In my lifetime, I've seen BabySteps open two bottles of wine with the stupid contraption he shown above, and both times the cork got stuck inside the bottle.  The first time this happened, GM wanted to do a toast so we could all start eating and drinking so there's GM holding his glass up and rolling his eyes while BabySteps pushes the cork into the bottle.  The second time I've seen him open a bottle of wine was last night.  He failed yet again and splashed wine all over himself.  FAIL!

Just so there's no hard feelings BabySteps, here's a little video on how it's supposed to be done:

Sorry it's off center.  I'm too lazy to adjust the embed code.  Hmmm...  Doesn't seem too difficult.

At any rate, BabySteps is standing there telling me how corkscrews are for plebians and that true wine aficionados don't use a corkscrew, blah, blah, blah.  Then he pushes the cork into the bottle.  Then he splashes the wine all over himself. 

You can't just drink it

After he pours the glasses, he then proceeds to give me a list of things I have to do before I actually drink the wine so that I can enjoy it.  He also goes on to talk about the different types of wine like Merlin, Caberet, and some frenchy sounding stuff.  Hey!  I don't really care.  As far as I'm concerned, he's talking about wizards, Liza Minelli movies, and using surrender language. 

So here's what he tells me:

1.  Swirl the wine around in the glass and smell it.  "You want to get the full boquet!" he says.

2.  Look for the "halo".  Apparently, if it is a good wine it will have a supernatural glow to it like the aurora borealis or something.

3.  Swirl and smell it again.  [BabySteps is winking and smiling at me as he does this.]

4.  Before sipping the wine, acclimate your mouth and prepare your taste buds to receive the wonderous sensations and texture of the wine by swishing it around in your mouth.  "Remember, this isn't mouthwash.  Gently wash the wine over your gums and tongue.  Let it caress the inside of your mouth with its velvety smoothness."  WTF!  This is getting gayer by the second.

5.  Swallow the wine slowly and not all at once.  "This is good wine!  It's not to be gulped down like a fruit punch flavored Gatorade."

6.  Enjoy the warmth and intricate taste sensations the wine provides in your subsequent sips.

The Verdict

It was gross.  It was like trying to swallow room temperature ocean water.  I didn't like it.  BabySteps accused me of being a "fruit" for liking sweet wine.  My arguement to that is he is a fruit for enjoying swallowing warm slighty salty and bitter liquids.

END OF LINE

Hello everybody!  I'm Picklez and I've just noticed a new dance craze sweeping the dojo.  It's called the Testing Week Shuffle!  This is not to be confused with Archie Bell and the Drells' "Tighten Up" (which I something I recommend these students do) or the Chicago Bears' terrible "Superbowl Shuffle".  Here's how you do the Testing Week Shuffle:

1.  Don't take your karate training seriously.

2.  Don't make any effort to learn.

3.  Make the realization that if you don't learn the material you won't get to test.

4.  Complain (or have your parent complain for you) about poor instruction.

5.  Scramble like hell to learn the material.

Yes.  It's that time of year again and everytime I think that I am past the point of having to do the Testing Week Shuffle.  I should just be merciless and not let the people test, but if I at least don't go through the motions of trying to help them, then there will be Hell to pay.

I always know who it's going to be, too.  I'm like the Nostradamus of Suck.  When will people learn that I'm not kidding around when I say you have to practice at home.  Hardly anyone listens to me and then they are surprised when I tell them that whatever I'm watching them do is terrible. 

This time around I have people with eligibility issues.  In other words, I have people who started the class this quarter that are ready to test and people who have been in for nearly 8 months doing the Testing Week Shuffle.  It's sad and it's a slap in the face to everyone.  On one hand, I have to say, "I can't let you test because you don't have the requisite number of classes despite the fact you are very good at what you're doing" and on the other hand, I have to say, "I can't let you test because you're terrible despite the fact that you've been in for nearly a year."  (Ironically, it's pretty much the same as the Shihan dilemma I'm suffering.)

One of the biggest conflicts I have is that the people in question are so borderline as to the material.  I mean, they are making very small mistakes.  Of course, if they had been busting their asses for the past 2 months, I would let them slide a little on those mistakes.  But simply on principle, I shouldn't let them test to teach them not to wait until the last minute.  These are truly the times it sucks to be a karate instructor.

END OF LINE 

Current Standings

Picklez  129  (5th place, 8 points behind the leader)

BabySteps  120 (8th place but essentially last)

LG  126 (6th place)

Tiny Tanks 131 (4th place)

I don't know what to say.  I'm slipping.  I've got to buckle down and and have a good week.  I'm still over .500 though.

Week Fourteen Picks

I'm pretty much going with the trend.  There are some "upsets" but there is nothing surprising.

PIT @ CLE - PIT has decided to sort of suck this year; however, they are still better than the Browns, unfortunately.  Picklez Pick:  PIT

NO @ ATL -  Upset #1.  For some reason, NO is the underdog.  Are they not going to use their starters or something?  I think they've clinched the division and homefield advantage for the next 5 years with their awesome record.  Last week's game wasn't the blow out I expected, but they still won.  Picklez Pick:  NO

GB @ CHI - I think on paper, GB is the better team.  Pork Cutlet did OK against Suck Louis but c'mon... Picklez Pick:  CHI

DEN @ IND - If IND loses a game, this will probably be it.  Still going with the power of Manning! though.  Picklez Pick:  IND

BUF @ KC - Wow!  It's like choosing between getting hit in the nuts with a tack hammer or having a thumb tack driven into your penis...  Picklez Pick:  KC

CIN @ MIN - MIN lost in to ARI in a preview of what may be to come for the playoffs.  CIN as well as they have performed this year doesn't have what it takes to beat Favre and the Vikings.  Picklez Pick:  MIN

CAR @ NE - Jeez, Louise.  What a suckfest.  Poor execution versus poor play calling.  Picklez Pick:  NE

MIA @ JAC - Upset #3.  They eeked out a win verses NE, but JAC very rarely plays two games well in a row.  Picklez Pick:  MIA

DET @ BAL - No brainer!  Hooray!  Picklez Pick:  BAL

SEA @ HOU - Screwston!  I hate them so much.  But I just can't pick the Suckhawks to win this game.  Picklez Pick:  HOU

STL @ TEN - Suck Louis cannot beat TEN.  Picklez Pick:  TEN

WAS @ OAK - OAK gets the NFL "giant killer" award this year.  WAS isn't a giant though so OAK will go back to their losing ways.  Picklez Pick:  OAK

ARI @ SF - They're going to bring their show on the road and give Suck Francisco the what for. (The non-gay version)  Picklez Pick:  ARI

I AM DETERMINED TO WIN THE VOX GROUP THIS YEAR!

I found this SNL clip amusing.

I like it when people tool on Al Gore.  It's sort of ironic.  He invented the internet and now he gets mocked on it.  Also, the way the people very quickly clear the stage only to come back 30 seconds later is funny to me.  You stuck in the 80s people should like the Clause Future guy, too.

I want you to see this, too.  It's sort of gross, but funny.

I don't know why I think this is funny.  As far as country music goes, I sort of like Reba. 

Here's the last one.  A lego version of one of the funniest scenes in Spinal Tap.  No, it's not the "Eleven" scene.

Simple lines, inter-twining.  Hahahahaha!

THAT IS ALL

Current Standings

Picklez  119  (5th place, 9 points behind the leader)

BabySteps  109 (8th place)

LG  116 (6th place)

Hangtime  83 (dead last)  Out for season!

Tiny Tanks 121 (tied for 3rd place)

Hangtime.  He started out so well...  I did terribly.  My upset picks killed me.  Oh well...  Looks like LG is going to pull the same thing she did last year which is whip out in front of me in the last few weeks of the season.  BabySteps sucks this year.

Week Thirteen Picks

Nothing too crazy this week.

NYJ @ BUF - Suckalo has done all but self-destruct.  Will Sanchez throw nothing but picks this game?  I hope not.  Picklez Pick:  NYJ

PHI @ ATL -  I'm going to root, root, root for the home team despite the fact that they are woefully inconsistent.  Also these four words:  PHI, Hate, 1000, suns.  I wonder if PHI will let the dog murderer run a few wildcat plays?   I'm going to pick PHI though because Ryan and Turner are out.  Picklez Pick:  PHI*

STL @ CHI - I made the mistake of picking Suck Louis to beat the Suckhawks.  No such luck for them this week despite the fact that DA BEARS are sort of DA FAIL!  Picklez Pick:  CHI

DET @ CIN - No brainer.  Picklez Pick:  CIN

TEN @ IND - A much harder pick than it seems.  TEN has been on a tear as of late.  Is the power of Manning! waning?  Not for Peypey.  In fact, he uses it so much that Eli is really struggling.  Picklez Pick:  IND

DEN @ KC - I'm not sure how DEN was able to defeat NYG, but I think it had to do with swearing...  Picklez Pick:  DEN

NE @ MIA - MIA lost to crummy Suckalo.  NE got disassembled like Johnny Five by the unstoppable NO.  The game is really kind of up in the air, but I'm going with NE simply because I hate it when MIA wins in Pheaderation Stadium.  Picklez Pick:  NE

NO @ WAS - If NO stays focused and keeps playing as a team, then they should easily win this game.  Picklez Pick:  NO

TB @ CAR - Screwalina is more like it.  Picklez Pick:  CAR

HOU @ JAC - Upset #1.  Let me say this for Screwston.  These bastards never stop trying.  Trying to screw me that is.  Let's see what happens.  Picklez Pick:  HOU

SD @ CLE - Sorry Browns.  You had your chance for another win and you blew it.  Picklez Pick:  SD

DAL @ NYG - Two NFC-E rivals go head to head for a terribly mediocre game!  Picklez Pick:  DAL

BAL @ GB - What a crapfest!  I'll go with GB because they seem to play much better at home.  Picklez Pick:  GB

I DIDN'T WATCH A SINGLE GAME LAST WEEK!   

 *Changed pick thanks to BabySteps injury update.

For my Internet heart that is.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you: Stinakat!

She is an acoustic guitar playing gal with the voice of an angel and a body to match!  Amixia, you better call me girl if you don't want to lose me!

I like this cover version of this song better than the last one I posted.

This one is an original song!  It has a very soothing, jazzy vibe.  Wonderful!

This is a great song in its own right.  She really makes it her own though.  Wow!  I think I have a case of the vapors coming on!  Oh wait.  Just gas...

THAT IS ALL