#306 - Weekend Forecast
It calls for mostly sunny skies with a 15% chance of SHENANIGANS. A group of individuals, known singularly as PV2, the Medic, and Big Red but when joined together form the devastating wrestling team/giant robot: "Triple Threat", will be visiting this evening. They will come and work out with our class and then we plan on going to Outback Steakhouse. Not because that's where we really want to go, but because I found a $50 gift certificate in my computer bag. It was in an unopened X-mas card from 2007.
To add to the fun, they will be spending the night and tomorrow at 11:00 we'll be playing golf. Our cast of characters will include Triple Threat, Hangtime, the Admiral, BabySteps, and of course, yours truly. We'll be playing at Legacy Golf links. If I recall, I played pretty well last time. I was able to relax for most of the time and I hit the ball pretty consistently off the tee. Also, my short game was a lot better than normal.
Some of the highlights from last time included Big Red nearly tipping over the Port-o-potty containing the Medic, BabySteps humiliating me in front of the cute cart girl with his now infamous "dirty on top" comment (which still makes no sense to me as to why it's funny), and me clipping the Medic's golf cart and cracking the windshield.
Anyway, tomorrow's golf outing is sure to be full of hilarious hijinx (TM). Why? Well, I think Hangtime has only golfed a few times. I remember taking him to the RTJ par 3 in Dothan one time at least. I have no idea what PV2's golf status is. He may have never played before... It's been a while since the Admiral played, but she is actually naturally talented so I'm sure she'll be fine. BabySteps is always a wild card. I remember being at the first tee, which is near the putting green, and he hit a line drive right at the people putting. We got several dirty looks and then BabySteps hoisted up his brass cohones and proceeded to retrieve his errant golf ball.
The presence of the Admiral will keep the rest of us from entering full "Guy" mode which is probably a good thing with this particular crew. In case you're wondering, Guy mode is a testosterone driven behavioral system. This means that expletives are often used as punctuation and conversations usually consist of three topics: a) sexual activities/proclivities b) long debates on who amongst the peer group is homosexual c) chicken wings and beer. Within most Guy mode groupings you have at least one Voice Of Reason (R) a.k.a. the designated driver. This person is responsible for apologizing for messes that are made, leading the group in tactical (and sometimes hasty) retreats, and keeping good natured fun from becoming a $300 fine and "time served".
All that being said, I'm actually thankful that the Admiral will be present. The way I figure it, our Guy crew is pretty volatile. You've got a young, single, college aged male, 2 recently married men, 1 married man with a kid, 1 ten year veteran married guy, and 1 bitter soon to be divorced male. It is the perfect storm of Tomfoolery. The Voice Of Reason would be swept away by hurricane force winds of machismo. Let's add to the fact that (with the exception of myself) these are all dangerous men. VERY dangerous men.
Anyway, I'm eager to get this holiday weekend started. I'll give you all a debriefing sometime next week.
END OF LINE...FORE! Just practicing.
