#302 - Potpourri

I've got a lot of random stuff to talk about.

D & D

I talked about this before, but I've got a real hankering to play Dungeons and Dragons again.  I don't know why.  Well, I think I partially know why.  First, I've listened to all the Penny Arcade D & D podcasts in their entirety.  Not only are they hilarious, but they bring back memories of happier times when me, Ken, the Boss, Ken's Common Law Wife, this really great classmate of mine named Emily, and her douchebag (now ex) husband, Brad used to get together and play D & D.

I know a lot of you probably get the image of a bunch of basement dwelling dorks wearing pointy hats and capes eating cheese flavored corn snacks, drinking carbonated beverages, and quoting lines from The Lord of the Rings.  Now, I'll admit that some of this is true; however, it is really a bunch of people getting together and having fun.  Instead of ripping on each other, making jokes, and complaining that there's nothing on TV, you rip on each other, make jokes, and play a game.

To those of you who are uninitiated, it is basically like playing a board game where you get to kill things.  It's kind of like a video game, but more people are involved and you are only limited by your imagination.  Of course, there are rules that must be followed as in any game, but you can approach a situation anyway you like.  Let me spell out a scenario that happened in one of the Penny Arcade D & D podcasts.  The party had just killed some guys and found a rope ladder that lead to an underground chamber.  What they did was descend the ladder and engage the enemies inside.  Two of the enemies were on old scaffolds.  They had their wizard, Jim Darkmagic of the New Hampshire Darkmagics, hang from the rope and cast spells.  Pretty cool.

If I had been there, I would have suggested that we get the enemy's attention and get them to come up the rope ladder and throw the bodies of their dead comrades on top of them as they tried to get up to where we were.  If we were to go down into the chamber, I would have immediately tried to knock down the scaffolds.  I'm sure many of you would say something different.  No matter.  That's what's so great about the game.

Also, you can take the game as seriously as you want.  Some people never actually role play.  They just move their character around on the board and make attacks just as you might move a video game avatar or a chess piece.  Other people try and actually role play and make up elaborate backstories or have specific voices for their characters.  These folks also allow past adventures to affect their behavior.

I'm the type of person who likes to actually role play.  I've been thinking though, that I might actually like to be a DM.  What the DM does is create encounters, quests, situations, and stories in which the players engage.  It's almost like writing a novel, but allowing the players to drive the stories.  Because combat and many other things are determined by dice rolls, there are many variables and odd occurrences that can happen.  I might like to run a campaign and then try to novelize the experience.  I think that might be cool.

Anyway, my hankering to get involved in D&D again stems from listening to those podcasts and reeling in the years and the fact that it is a little bit of an escape from my life right now.  Not only that, it is relatively inexpensive to play.  I still have my dice somewhere.  All I'd need is a new Player's Handbook for 4th edition.  Yes, I'd also need some friends who'd be willing to play.  It would be great if one of those friends could DM, but if not, I guess I could do it in a pinch.  In which case, I would need the new 4th edition DM guide and Monster Compendium.

Kung-Fool

In case you haven't heard, David Carradine was found dead in a Thai hotel.  There were ropes around his neck and genitals.  Click here to read the story.  That's a little frakked up.  I was never a big fan of Carradine.  There, I said it.  I think Bruce Lee would have been better in the role.  Yes, that's right.  The concept for the show was thought up by Bruce Lee, and he was supposed to be the lead character.  In fact, his son Brandon Lee had a few appearances.  Unfortunately, the TV execs at the time were uncomfortable with a Chinese guy playing a *gasp* Chinese guy, so they hired David Carradine instead.  Pfffttt...  David Carradine is about as Chinese as Babysteps' ass after eating Kung Pao chicken (extra spicy).

So they ruled out murder and suicide which only leaves one thing.  The guy was choking himself to get off.  Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.  I do NOT understand that.  Don't get me wrong, I understand about the great sort of "breathless" feeling after a release of tension, but Jiminy X-Mas!  I guess I shouldn't "knock it 'til I've tried it".  Who knows, it just might be the best stuff EVAR, as they say in the interwebs.

Busting makes me feel good!

I am super excited about the release of Ghostbusters the Video Game.  I probably won't be able to purchase it in a long while, but I'm glad it will be waiting for me when I do get the money.  I've seen a few gameplay videos and stuff and it looks like fun.  Add to the fact that Ramis and Akroyd are writing the script and all the original cast members (except Sigorney Weaver) are adding their voice talent:  Lots o' fun.  Of course, the original cast would do the voices.  I'm not sure, but I don't think Ernie Hudson's been in anything since The Substitute.  Not that one.  The original one with Tom Berenger.  None of those crappy sequels with Treat Williams.

Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to fire a proton beam at ghosts and then subsequently trap them and incarcerate them in a custom made storage facility.  The problem is that the games that came out with the Ghostbusters logo were mostly crap.  I enjoyed my Atari 2600 version, but the game was overly simplistic and the graphics were well, Atari 2600 graphics.  I did the best with what there was at the time.  There was an arcade machine based on the Ghostbusters Saturday morning cartoon, but I only got to play it two times.  I thought it was pretty cool.  I wonder if there is a ROM of that game?

Obviously, the graphics in the game look really good and the proton beam lighting and sound effects as well as the other gadgets are authentic.  I'll just say this though.  I liked the cartoon PKE meter sound better than the movie one.  I'm pretty sure that this is a linear game and it appears to act like a 3rd person shooter.  If they ever make another game, I might recommend making a sandbox type game.  If they need a writer, they can can call me.  Actually, I already have the base idea.  After the first game concludes, your character goes on to start another GB franchise in another city.  You could research different ghost stories from around the country and have each sequel cover the various stories in different regions.  Just sayin'.

I think this game is going to be a very significant release for the year (if the gameplay is as good as they say it is).  I have to say that the Ghostbusters franchise has a special place in the heart of every geek out there.  I can't tell you how many times I've quoted lines from the movie.  I'm not counting the sequel because I didn't really like it although I think it had one or two good lines in it.

Favorite Ghostbusters lines and their uses:

Listen!  You smell that? - Used anytime to get people to quiet down or if I smell something bad/weird.

The light is green, the trap is clean. - Used after explaining a process, no matter how complicated.

Dogs and cats living together...Mass hysteria! - Used when I believe chaos or shenanigans are about to ensue.

I have seen shit that will turn you white! - Used on caucasian people to let them know I have life experience.

Yes, it's true.  This man has no dick. - Used only in humorous situations where someone asks me, "Is that true?" I've only been able to use it once so far.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!  Nice shootin', Tex! - Used when someone overdoes something or is overly vigorous.

The door swings both ways. - Used when I think someone is bi-sexual.

Egon, your mucus! - Used when handing someone something that was particularly brutal or unpleasant to retrieve.

And the flowers are still standing! - Used when failing at some physical task that requires a modicum of skill.

Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and then every molecule of your body exploding at the speed of light. - Used to explain the consequences of not following a specific procedure to the letter or if someone says, "That would be bad."

I'm right in the middle of something, Ray! - Used when interrupted.

Someone with your qualifications would have no trouble finding a top flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries. - Used when someone complains excessively about their job or is boastful of their accomplishments.

"GET HER!" That was your whole plan? - Used when someone plans something poorly.

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