#271 - Thanksgiving Leftovers

Here are some tidbits I left out of post #270.

The Ninja World

I stated in other posts that I like to play "Hide n' Seek" with my nieces M and K.  They usually have a very tough time finding me as I often hide in plain sight.  I've got them convinced that I can transport myself to a parallel dimension called, "The Ninja World".  I did it by hiding and then suddenly appearing behind them or by hiding near them and recounting their conversations or actions as they search for me.  I find it hilarious.

Disney Movies

I watched two Disney animated features with K during the T-Day Holiday.  The first was the straight to DVD prequel, Ariel's Beginning, which chronicles the death of Ariel's mother, Sebastian the Crab's career change from Administrative Assistant to King Triton to "Court Composer" (a position that never really lost the Admin responsibilities), and the adventures of Ariel and her 6 other hot sisters as they try and restore music (which was outlawed after the Queen's death) to Atlantica.  We also watched the unbelievably racist feature film, Lilo and Stitch.

Before I tackle Lilo and Stitch, I just want to say this about Disney heroines/princesses.  For whatever reason, they draw these women to be pretty hot.  I know I just sound sick and twisted, but it's true.  Mulan might be the one character that lacks hotness.  She was pretending to be a man after all.  Of all the Disney female characters, I'll have to say that Gisele from Enchanted is the probably the hottest because she easily translated into a real life individual who happens to be very hot.  Ariel would be a close second.

You want to know the freaky part.  I think Ariel is hotter as a mermaid.  It's not that I'm into fish or anything.  It's just that "under the sea" her hair does that sexy floating thing.  To be honest, I also have a thing for redheads.  In case you're wondering, Big Red is no exception (lol).  Anyway, there was this redheaded girl named J in high school that I had a crush on but she only spoke to me because she liked my best friend B.  That hurt, but oh well.  You know I think I ran into her during the spring when I took my nieces to the park.  I was chasing them around and this stunning redheaded lady stopped and stared at me.  We stood there staring at each other and then a guy said, "Hey, J!  J!"  She turned toward the man I assumed was her husband and then looked back at me and squinted and turned her head sideways.  The guy called her name again and she picked up her child and walked off, but not before looking over her shoulder at me.

At any rate, I decided that I don't like Lilo and Stitch.  The movie itself is kind of quirky, but it irritates me that my people got exploited by it.  The hackneyed attempt at using "Pidgin" english as an element of local color just really makes the Hawaiian population look like a bunch of uneducated chuckleheads.  The art is a little more bloated and the way the faces of the Hawaiians were drawn with the big flat featureless noses was appalling.  All of the Hawaiian stereotypes were present, too.  Hula dancing, fire dancing, surfing, and Elvis. 

The thing that gets me most about this movie is that most Hawaiians embrace it as a testament to their culture.  My mom says I need to relax and that it was nice to have real Local Style shown in a movie.  I didn't argue with her, but when most of the "Local" dialogue are gems like, "What we when hit?!" it makes me shudder to think that all over the world people are bewildered by the Hawaiian lack of proper announciation and improper diction.

My mom is real big on Ohana which does in fact mean "family"; however, it is only implied that "no one is left behind...or forgotten".  But to what extent?  The Hawaiian tourist industry capitalized on this catch phrase and on every tour group you go on the guide tells you his/her name and then tells you to find out the names of the people around you.  Once that exchange of monickers is complete he tells you to precede the person's name with "Cousin" because in Hawaii we have the spirit of Aloha (TM) and we believe in Ohana; therefore, we are all family.  They will then usually make some kind of off-color joke about inbreeding because we're on an island.  Hahaha.  Whatever...

Spirit of Aloha(TM)

Yes, it is true.  Aloha doesn't really have a set meaning.  It's kind of like the karate word, Osu.  It's just a positive upbeat word.  I think the Spirit of Aloha (TM) is one of tolerance, acceptance, and then assimilation.  History has forced the Hawaiians to develop this adaptability.  I believe this to be a positive attribute of our culture.  The place you see it the most is in our food.  Hawaiians will eat or try just about anything.  If they like it, they'll make it part of their own.  There is a Chinese BBQ pork bun called Char su bau.  It is made of a sweet white bread and pork.  The Hawaiians liked it so they made a big one and called it Mauna pua.  The best example of culinary acceptance and assimilation is the Hawaiian mixed plate.  It came from the plantation days when all the workers would break for lunch and everyone would share their food and since many of the people were from different ethnic backgrounds, people got to try and enjoy a variety of different dishes.  This resulted in the lunchtime tradition of a mixed plate.  I think it works.  Just ask BabySteps.

The adaptability is not only present in the culinary world but in the spoken language as well.  Hawaiian "Pidgin" english is a combination of English, Japanese, Chinese, Hawaiian, Korean, Portuguese and pretty much every other language.  As different people come to the islands the language changes and grows.  There are several Hawaiian Pidgin English sayings that have made into the American Lexicon.  The surfing term "Hang Loose" and of course the phrase "Go For Broke".  My problem with the Lilo and Stitch dialogue is that they centered more on the syntax and grammatical rhythms of the language rather than vocabulary.  This just makes Hawaiians sound like idiots in my opinion.  I don't speak that way.  My mom can, but she only does it around other Hawaiians.  I know many other Hawaiians who are the same way.  This shows that to speak in such a matter is a personal choice rather than the result of poor education.  The movie doesn't show that.

Back to the Spirit of Aloha (TM), the undercurrent of this acceptance, tolerance, and eventual assimilation is racism, stereotyping, and prejudice.  I'm not kidding.   Hawaiians scoff at political correctness.  The most popular Hawaiian comics often tell racially charged jokes under the guise of "celebrating our differences".  In Pidgin English, there is a code word for nearly every ethnic background.  The thing about Hawaiians is that they will often say these words in everyday conversation with people of the background that they are insulting.  Again, these words don't have the same weight as the dreaded "n" word but they are still inappropriate in the PC world.

Ohana

Family.  OK Disney, you don't have to beat me over the head with it.  The whole Ohana thing is really another way of saying, "Folksy".   We've all been in situations where we've been treated like family.  Whenever I go to the Man's house, I feel that way.  The thing is that I don't ascribe a polynesian word to it.  It's just the way it is. 

I don't see where this one word can justify using the Hawaiian backdrop for the plot of Lilo and Stitch.  It all smells of marketing shenanigans to me.  In the boardrooms of Disney, they were cooking up the marketing schemes for their next film and someone said, "OK, so we've done the traditional European fairy tale thing and we did a Chinese thing.  What's next?  Hey, we haven't had a polynesian based film.  What about this Lilo and Stitch script?  We could make that Hawaiian.  It's either that or Herbie's Hawaiian Adventure!* We need to get on the Aloha fastrack to some dough!  Cha-ching!"  I'm probably taking all of this too seriously, but you've had a fun time reading it, haven't you?

*Not a real film but will probably be made soon.

END OF LINE