Picklez’s blog

Hey!  Would you like to see some hot, sweaty, girl on girl action with plenty of grunting and lots of miniskirts?

Then you need to watch Wimbledon.  It's on right now...

THAT IS ALL

I putting this down here because I still sort of smile when I think about it.  Yesterday, on my way to karate class, I was listening to my iPod and an instrumental song began to play.  It was Chuck Mangione's "Feeling Good" - ah yes, AM Radio Gold...  Anyway, I started "singing" along by making cat noises.  If you care to imagine:  Meow, meow, meooooow, mew, mew, mew, mew, Meow, Meow, Meow, Meooow.*  (* you need to imagine actual song as well).  Of course that sort of degenerated into me making cat in heat noises.  I was thoroughly amused with myself.  I got to giggling, then chuckling, then laughing, then laughing so hard I started tearing up.  

Later, I got to thinking about why that made me laugh so hard and then I remembered why it struck such a nerve with me (and I started laughing again).  A long time ago, my friend Scott and I were talking about Mr. Rogers and he said his favorite character was the cat.  He then in his deep bass voice imitated the speech pattern of the character by adding "meow meow" randomly to whatever he said.  It was pretty funny at the time.

I don't know.  I just thought I'd share that.

THAT IS ALL 

It calls for mostly sunny skies with a 15% chance of SHENANIGANS.  A group of individuals, known singularly as PV2, the Medic, and Big Red but when joined together form the devastating wrestling team/giant robot: "Triple Threat", will be visiting this evening.  They will come and work out with our class and then we plan on going to Outback Steakhouse.  Not because that's where we really want to go, but because I found a $50 gift certificate in my computer bag.  It was in an unopened X-mas card from 2007. 

To add to the fun, they will be spending the night and tomorrow at 11:00 we'll be playing golf.  Our cast of characters will include Triple Threat, Hangtime, the Admiral, BabySteps, and of course, yours truly.  We'll be playing at Legacy Golf links.  If I recall, I played pretty well last time.  I was able to relax for most of the time and I hit the ball pretty consistently off the tee.  Also, my short game was a lot better than normal.

Some of the highlights from last time included Big Red nearly tipping over the Port-o-potty containing the Medic, BabySteps humiliating me in front of the cute cart girl with his now infamous "dirty on top" comment (which still makes no sense to me as to why it's funny), and me clipping the Medic's golf cart and cracking the windshield.

Anyway, tomorrow's golf outing is sure to be full of hilarious hijinx (TM).  Why?  Well, I think Hangtime has only golfed a few times.  I remember taking him to the RTJ par 3 in Dothan one time at least.  I have no idea what PV2's golf status is.  He may have never played before...  It's been a while since the Admiral played, but she is actually naturally talented so I'm sure she'll be fine.  BabySteps is always a wild card.  I remember being at the first tee, which is near the putting green, and he hit a line drive right at the people putting.  We got several dirty looks and then BabySteps hoisted up his brass cohones and proceeded to retrieve his errant golf ball.

The presence of the Admiral will keep the rest of us from entering full "Guy" mode which is probably a good thing with this particular crew.  In case you're wondering, Guy mode is a testosterone driven behavioral system.  This means that expletives are often used as punctuation and conversations usually consist of three topics:  a) sexual activities/proclivities  b) long debates on who amongst the peer group is homosexual  c)  chicken wings and beer.  Within most Guy mode groupings you have at least one Voice Of Reason (R) a.k.a. the designated driver.  This person is responsible for apologizing for messes that are made, leading the group in tactical (and sometimes hasty) retreats, and keeping good natured fun from becoming a $300 fine and "time served".

All that being said, I'm actually thankful that the Admiral will be present.  The way I figure it, our Guy crew is pretty volatile.  You've got a young, single, college aged male, 2 recently married men, 1 married man with a kid, 1 ten year veteran married guy, and 1 bitter soon to be divorced male.  It is the perfect storm of Tomfoolery.  The Voice Of Reason would be swept away by hurricane force winds of machismo.  Let's add to the fact that (with the exception of myself) these are all dangerous men.  VERY dangerous men. 

Anyway, I'm eager to get this holiday weekend started.  I'll give you all a debriefing sometime next week.

END OF LINE...FORE!  Just practicing.

The King of Pop, Michael Jackson, died yesterday as did Farrah Fawcett.  I think it's time for me to weigh in on celebrity deaths.

Here's the skinny.  I don't give a shit.  Really.  I don't care.  I don't think that celebrity deaths are news.  I don't think celebrities are news.

There's always such a brew-ha-ha over celebrity stuff.  Who's together, who's split, who's pregnant, who's dead, who's drunk/high.  To be honest, I don't care what these people do with their spare time.  My only beef is when they aren't punished for committing crimes.  Take Chris Brown for instance.  He wailed on a woman's head with his fist and doesn't do any jail time.  Malarky!

At any rate, Michael Jackson is dead.  OK.  Why should I care?  I'm not related to him.  He doesn't pay me.  He hasn't had a decent song in about a decade.  Farrah Fawcett is dead.  OK.  Why should I care?  Does this mean that I am a sociopath?  No.  It just means that these people aren't important to me.  You tell me that GM died?  That's important to me.  Babysteps is in poor health and on death's doorstep (he's perfectly fine), you have my attention.  Why?  Because these people are important to me.  They have impacted my life in a profound way.

I'm not going to say that the aforementioned dead celebrities didn't impact people's lives; however, when I see fans in tears over their death, I want to ask these people, "Don't you people have anyone in your lives that actually care about you?"  If the answer is "Yes" then I would pimp slap them and say, "Get over it, moron."  If the answer is "No" then I would feel a little bit of pity for them before I pimp slapped them and said, "Get over it, moron."

Now I'm not saying celebrities don't add to society.  Many of them are entertainers and they do just that.  Entertain us.  Michael Jackson did make Thriller after all.  I'm just saying that I don't get misty eyed over their deaths.  Sure, you can wonder about all the great things they could have accomplished if they had had more time, but nowadays, even those musings can be quelled.  Case in point, Tupac Shakur.  I think he came out with a new album last year and he's been dead since 1996.

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Had to post this:

Daddy's Boots

Yes, it is S.  And yes, those are her father's size 15 boots.

THAT IS ALL

In honor of Father's Day...

Baby Tshirt

This is very funny to me.

THAT IS ALL

I was down in Dothan, AL last weekend for a hot weather workout.  I went down on Thursday to help prepare for the camp and left Sunday morning.  Here are the highlights.

42nd in the line of succession

Master C had total knee replacement on his right leg.  This meant that he had extremely limited mobility.  I was informed on Friday that he would not going to attend the camp at all.  I was instructed to take care of all the back end logistics of the camp.  I got a scare in the morning when Master T called and said that he was nauseated and vomiting.  Master C joked that with two directors down we (me and The Medic) would have to take charge. 

Luckily, Master T recovered.  I don't like to imagine the chaos that would ensue if I was actually put in charge of the camp.  The Medic, on the other hand, would probably have taken it all in stride.  The more time I spend with him, the more impressed I am.  He really busted his ass on Friday and Saturday.  Not only is he a skilled practitioner and fighter, he is quickly learning the art of karate diplomacy.  He already understands how our rank/etiquette/respect system works in Y*.  Now he is beginning to master how to get things done within such a rigid and antiquated system.

Shinkuu Hiza Ukke

Apparently, that is my new special move.  What happened is that someone leg kicked me really hard and broke their toe when I did my knee block.  It was gruesome.  Toes normally point north, but this one was pointing west.  Oof.

When I grow up...

I got to workout with the other 4th/5th degrees on Saturday.  We were doing kata and before I knew it, an informal competition broke out between two of my former instructors:  Mr. Tur and Mr. Tor.

The dialed the wayback machine to 1997 and started performing some of the finest karate I've ever seen.  Each of them were trying to impress the other with their snap, focus, power, and fluidity.  Watching the two of them gave me a feeling of nostalgia as if I were a kyu grade again watching black belts practice their kata.  That was pretty cool.  My only hope is that I can become 1/4 as good as they are.

Not teh hardcores

Just so you know, the weather was extremely hot.  The temperature was about 97 with a heat index of 104.  Needless to say, the executive order came down that we were not to train outside for longer than 10 minutes at a time.  We didn't.  In fact, I saw one group go outside with the intent of training and then 30 seconds later, they came back in dripping with sweat.  Seriously.  It was hotter than Satan's scrotum out there.

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*Warning:  This post discusses social mores and sexual taboos!

All right, here we go.  This could be the post that gets me an interview with Chris Hansen or law enforcement officials due to the controversial nature of this post, but as a believer in the U.S. Constitution and subsequently, its Bill of Rights, I feel I have some legal precedent to state my opinions.

The issue at hand is the over "sexification" of today's young women, most especially those in the entertainment industry.  What's more, we are living in a society that condemns some individuals from acting on the sexual impulses created by this environment while continuing to encourage the objectification of these young women.  At the same time, these young women are saddled with the responsibility to promote a positive message of empowerment and a presumed stance on sexuality that has a subtext of abstinence.

Where I Stand

I think that pedophiles are the lowest sort of human being and should be given the death penalty for their crimes.  I can't watch Dateline's To Catch A Predator because I get very frustrated.  This is because I am surprised at how many of these cretins are out there.  For every one of them that appears on the show, there are probably a hundred others that are not being caught.  Furthermore, once the perpetrator is arrested, I get frustrated because I keep waiting for the part where they pistol whip the guy while he is handcuffed to a chair or where they tase his nutsack repeatedly while his feet are in a bucket of water.  Let's take a moment and revel in that.

Now some of you are saying, "Right on!" and others of you are saying, "Hey, these people need help, their sick."  To the latter, I say, "There's nothing wrong with them that can't be fixed with my hands."  They are sick, and they are broken in my opinion.  No amount of lying on a couch and talking about their feelings is going to fix this.  There's no chemical substance they can consume to keep them from wanting to diddle little children.  That being said, they need to be removed from society permanently once they are caught.  We have no problem shooting a rabid dog or putting entire herds of cattle down.  Why?  They pose a threat to society at large.

Now that I've said that, I believe that the laws regarding this subject should be changed.  In other words, if someone has sexual relations with an individual under the legal age of consent various factors should be considered.  In other words, you can't label someone as a "pedophile" or "child sex offender" if the victim is biologically capable of reproduction.  In other words, a 15 year old who bangs his 15 year old girlfriend is NOT a child sex offender and shouldn't get the death penalty.  In fact, he shouldn't do any jailtime at all.  I'd even go so far as to say that an 18 year old who has consensual sex with a 15 year old who has been menstruating for the past 3 years has not committed a crime against nature.  The same goes for these thirty-something and twenty-something female teachers having sex with their 14 and 15 year old students.  Is it unethical?  Yes.  Is it creepy?  Yes.  Is it completely unnatural and against society?  No.

What makes someone sexually attractive?

We're going to have to admit that we ain't nothin' but mammals.  Our base physical desire to survive includes passing on our genetic material.  This means that the target of our urges at least gives the appearance of fertility.  They must appear healthy and able to sire or produce offspring.  We will be attracted to this regardless of the target's physical age.  It is our societal conditioning that makes us shut off our desires at hearing a person's age. 

Remember the "good old days"?

Yeah.  I'm not talking about the 90's, 80's, 70's, 60's, or even 50's.  OK.  Maybe I am, but I'm talking 1800's and back.  Yep.  I hate to break to you all, but people were getting married at 14 and popping out kids at 15.  Age of consent didn't matter.  If the person was capable of having kids and supporting themselves with their skills, it was time for them to leave the nest, get married, and start their own family.

This is due to the agrarian nature of our society at the time.  If you wanted a successful farm, you needed a lot of inexpensive, yet loyal, labor.  How do you do that?  You have kids.  Lots of them. 

As the industrial era progressed people no longer saw the need for such large families; thus, concluding with the "nuclear family" of the 50's and beyond.  After, WWII the Industrial Age concluded and we are now in the post-industrial "Infomation Era".  We live in a time where we don't actually create many lasting products.  This is a "throwaway" culture.  Technology changes so quickly that something purchased today is obsolete tomorrow.  We are more interested in "ideas" than in physical things.

As our society has changed its economic focus, it has changed its biological focus as well.  In the pre-industrial era we needed lasting pair bonds that created multiple offspring.  It was required for survival.  Much like the farms on which they lived, the family itself had to take time to sow seeds, cultivate them and harvest the rewards (free labor).  In the industrial age, strong pair bonds were still required for financial success and stability, but less offspring were needed (or perhaps desired).  Now, in the Information Age, pair bonds are no longer necessary for the survival of the offspring.  Yes, physical coupling must occur, but a person can be successful on their own as many jobs no longer require exceptional physical or even mental skills.

Biology, Media, and Social Mores meet

And believe me, I think they hate each other's guts.  Here's where we are right now.  We have a lot of young women as entertainment fixtures.  Because of the industry in which they work, being sexually attractive is an unwritten job requirement.  Biologically, men are very attracted to them.  Socially, they must outwardly conceal their desires.  For the starlets, they know that their money is being made because they are attractive.  Biologically, they are ready for sexual activity.  Socially, they must outwardly conceal their desires.

This is really screwed up.  Now, I have to admit that American culture is more hung up on the age thing than other cultures.  As a society, Americans are pretty sexually repressed.  Just my opinion.  I find it amusing that violence is OK here, but sex is not.  Mainly because sex is natural while violence (in the human sense) is unnatural.

Let me explain, I know that violence occurs in the animal kingdom.  It's limited to two types though.  Getting something to eat/avoiding being eaten or getting the opportunity to pass on their DNA.  You could over simplify and say that we commit acts of violence for the same reasons (which we do) but then we have a lot of complex violent behavior such as religious martyrdom or sociopathic genocide.  Let's be honest.  It is unnatural to shoot someone in the face for drug money.

The problem is that we are affecting future generations with this current trend.  Media is teaching young girls that sexing things up is the way to go.  Society is telling them that sexing it up is OK for entertainment people, but not regular people.  So then Society gets in Media's grill and says, "Hey, stop telling girls to sex things up!"  And Biology is like, "Why are you two fighting?  People are going to sex things up.  It's just the way things are!"  That's when Society and Media give Biology the finger and team up.  Meanwhile, everybody is just plain confused.

Here's the thing.  College dudes who are currently jacking it to Miley Cyrus bikini pictures are deemed degenerates, but in 2 or 3 years, it will be perfectly acceptable (if not encouraged) for them to jack it to her pictures.  This makes absolutely no sense.  Again, I'm not a proponent of the "Old enough to bleed, old enough to breed" or the "Grass on the infield?  Play Ball!" philosophies, but as a society we need to stop labelling people for thinking.  What we need to do is punish people for acting.

If we want to cling to our idea of a non-situational age of consent, then punishments need to be severe.  For everyone.  Letting Debra Lefave off the hook because she was a good looking teacher despite the fact that the kid was underage, yet throwing the book at every male high school teacher that hits on a female student or convicting an 18 year old of possession of child pornography because his 17 year old girlfriend sent him a naughty phone camera photo is ridiculous.  Death penalty for all.

Guess what else, if media conglomerates want to continue their little game of sexing up their starlets but contractually obligating them to speaking out against sexing it up, then those executives, managers, and parents can be held accountable and face the death penalty, too.  Especially, when we find out that the starlets have been sexing it up.  They are contributing to the delinquency of society.

Will someone please think of the children?

Believe me, I am.  Here's the thing though.  I don't believe in this romanticized version of childhood.  You know the whole innocence thing.  This was an invention of the 60's and 70's.  This idea that childhood should be carefree and protected from all the harshness of the world.

I believe that your experiences in childhood should prepare you for adulthood.  That's not to say that everything should be traumatic and unhappy.  Everyone needs pleasant memories.  It's the only thing that can keep you going during a very unpleasant present.  What I don't think children (especially young girls) need is to learn how to prance around and gyrate seductively.

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I've got a lot of random stuff to talk about.

D & D

I talked about this before, but I've got a real hankering to play Dungeons and Dragons again.  I don't know why.  Well, I think I partially know why.  First, I've listened to all the Penny Arcade D & D podcasts in their entirety.  Not only are they hilarious, but they bring back memories of happier times when me, Ken, the Boss, Ken's Common Law Wife, this really great classmate of mine named Emily, and her douchebag (now ex) husband, Brad used to get together and play D & D.

I know a lot of you probably get the image of a bunch of basement dwelling dorks wearing pointy hats and capes eating cheese flavored corn snacks, drinking carbonated beverages, and quoting lines from The Lord of the Rings.  Now, I'll admit that some of this is true; however, it is really a bunch of people getting together and having fun.  Instead of ripping on each other, making jokes, and complaining that there's nothing on TV, you rip on each other, make jokes, and play a game.

To those of you who are uninitiated, it is basically like playing a board game where you get to kill things.  It's kind of like a video game, but more people are involved and you are only limited by your imagination.  Of course, there are rules that must be followed as in any game, but you can approach a situation anyway you like.  Let me spell out a scenario that happened in one of the Penny Arcade D & D podcasts.  The party had just killed some guys and found a rope ladder that lead to an underground chamber.  What they did was descend the ladder and engage the enemies inside.  Two of the enemies were on old scaffolds.  They had their wizard, Jim Darkmagic of the New Hampshire Darkmagics, hang from the rope and cast spells.  Pretty cool.

If I had been there, I would have suggested that we get the enemy's attention and get them to come up the rope ladder and throw the bodies of their dead comrades on top of them as they tried to get up to where we were.  If we were to go down into the chamber, I would have immediately tried to knock down the scaffolds.  I'm sure many of you would say something different.  No matter.  That's what's so great about the game.

Also, you can take the game as seriously as you want.  Some people never actually role play.  They just move their character around on the board and make attacks just as you might move a video game avatar or a chess piece.  Other people try and actually role play and make up elaborate backstories or have specific voices for their characters.  These folks also allow past adventures to affect their behavior.

I'm the type of person who likes to actually role play.  I've been thinking though, that I might actually like to be a DM.  What the DM does is create encounters, quests, situations, and stories in which the players engage.  It's almost like writing a novel, but allowing the players to drive the stories.  Because combat and many other things are determined by dice rolls, there are many variables and odd occurrences that can happen.  I might like to run a campaign and then try to novelize the experience.  I think that might be cool.

Anyway, my hankering to get involved in D&D again stems from listening to those podcasts and reeling in the years and the fact that it is a little bit of an escape from my life right now.  Not only that, it is relatively inexpensive to play.  I still have my dice somewhere.  All I'd need is a new Player's Handbook for 4th edition.  Yes, I'd also need some friends who'd be willing to play.  It would be great if one of those friends could DM, but if not, I guess I could do it in a pinch.  In which case, I would need the new 4th edition DM guide and Monster Compendium.

Kung-Fool

In case you haven't heard, David Carradine was found dead in a Thai hotel.  There were ropes around his neck and genitals.  Click here to read the story.  That's a little frakked up.  I was never a big fan of Carradine.  There, I said it.  I think Bruce Lee would have been better in the role.  Yes, that's right.  The concept for the show was thought up by Bruce Lee, and he was supposed to be the lead character.  In fact, his son Brandon Lee had a few appearances.  Unfortunately, the TV execs at the time were uncomfortable with a Chinese guy playing a *gasp* Chinese guy, so they hired David Carradine instead.  Pfffttt...  David Carradine is about as Chinese as Babysteps' ass after eating Kung Pao chicken (extra spicy).

So they ruled out murder and suicide which only leaves one thing.  The guy was choking himself to get off.  Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.  I do NOT understand that.  Don't get me wrong, I understand about the great sort of "breathless" feeling after a release of tension, but Jiminy X-Mas!  I guess I shouldn't "knock it 'til I've tried it".  Who knows, it just might be the best stuff EVAR, as they say in the interwebs.

Busting makes me feel good!

I am super excited about the release of Ghostbusters the Video Game.  I probably won't be able to purchase it in a long while, but I'm glad it will be waiting for me when I do get the money.  I've seen a few gameplay videos and stuff and it looks like fun.  Add to the fact that Ramis and Akroyd are writing the script and all the original cast members (except Sigorney Weaver) are adding their voice talent:  Lots o' fun.  Of course, the original cast would do the voices.  I'm not sure, but I don't think Ernie Hudson's been in anything since The Substitute.  Not that one.  The original one with Tom Berenger.  None of those crappy sequels with Treat Williams.

Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to fire a proton beam at ghosts and then subsequently trap them and incarcerate them in a custom made storage facility.  The problem is that the games that came out with the Ghostbusters logo were mostly crap.  I enjoyed my Atari 2600 version, but the game was overly simplistic and the graphics were well, Atari 2600 graphics.  I did the best with what there was at the time.  There was an arcade machine based on the Ghostbusters Saturday morning cartoon, but I only got to play it two times.  I thought it was pretty cool.  I wonder if there is a ROM of that game?

Obviously, the graphics in the game look really good and the proton beam lighting and sound effects as well as the other gadgets are authentic.  I'll just say this though.  I liked the cartoon PKE meter sound better than the movie one.  I'm pretty sure that this is a linear game and it appears to act like a 3rd person shooter.  If they ever make another game, I might recommend making a sandbox type game.  If they need a writer, they can can call me.  Actually, I already have the base idea.  After the first game concludes, your character goes on to start another GB franchise in another city.  You could research different ghost stories from around the country and have each sequel cover the various stories in different regions.  Just sayin'.

I think this game is going to be a very significant release for the year (if the gameplay is as good as they say it is).  I have to say that the Ghostbusters franchise has a special place in the heart of every geek out there.  I can't tell you how many times I've quoted lines from the movie.  I'm not counting the sequel because I didn't really like it although I think it had one or two good lines in it.

Favorite Ghostbusters lines and their uses:

Listen!  You smell that? - Used anytime to get people to quiet down or if I smell something bad/weird.

The light is green, the trap is clean. - Used after explaining a process, no matter how complicated.

Dogs and cats living together...Mass hysteria! - Used when I believe chaos or shenanigans are about to ensue.

I have seen shit that will turn you white! - Used on caucasian people to let them know I have life experience.

Yes, it's true.  This man has no dick. - Used only in humorous situations where someone asks me, "Is that true?" I've only been able to use it once so far.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!  Nice shootin', Tex! - Used when someone overdoes something or is overly vigorous.

The door swings both ways. - Used when I think someone is bi-sexual.

Egon, your mucus! - Used when handing someone something that was particularly brutal or unpleasant to retrieve.

And the flowers are still standing! - Used when failing at some physical task that requires a modicum of skill.

Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and then every molecule of your body exploding at the speed of light. - Used to explain the consequences of not following a specific procedure to the letter or if someone says, "That would be bad."

I'm right in the middle of something, Ray! - Used when interrupted.

Someone with your qualifications would have no trouble finding a top flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries. - Used when someone complains excessively about their job or is boastful of their accomplishments.

"GET HER!" That was your whole plan? - Used when someone plans something poorly.

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As some of you may know, I've been in training to fight in a Japanese Full Contact tournament in July.  Overall, I think things are going OK.  I have 3 major concerns:

Weight

I absolutely positively need to be under 165 lbs.  This marks the end of the lightweight division.  I will not stand a shred of a chance against opponents who will outweigh me by 10 or 20 pounds, most of whom will be over a foot taller than me.

I weighed myself this past Saturday and I some how weighed in at 160 lbs.  My goal is 155 lbs.  This is not only for fighting reasons but for personal self-esteem reasons.  I found myself at 180 lbs last Fall.  That is unacceptable.  Now when I weighed myself on Saturday, it was about 13:00, I was down to my boxer shorts, and I hadn't eaten since 18:00 the previous evening.

I've kind of eliminated a lot of my "snacking" tendencies and I find myself desiring smaller portions during my meal times.  I actually try to eat 4 or 5 very small meals throughout the day versus 2 or 3 large ones.  I tend not to do that on the weekends though and I find myself drinking a lot and eating a lot more.  I've been eating at night still, but it is usually limited to about 8 saltines with hot sauce or half a package of Ramen noodles.  It's just enough to stop the growling and allow me to sleep peacefully at night.

Endurance

I tend to do 3 long runs (around 2 miles) per week and then I "run" a mile on the eliptical and do some light weight training 3 times a week.  I've been trying to do some of the Saturday training sessions that the TA-JFCFS has been having, too.

On top of that, I generally do 15-30 minutes of shadow sparring Mon-Thu.  I do at least 20 push-ups and 20 sit-ups during each karate class in addition to another 50 push-ups and 75 sit-ups at home.  All this is supplementing my normal kata and basics training regimen.

I feel pretty good about my wind and I don't think that I'll lose a fight due to lack of energy.

Skill/Competition

For the most part, I think it is safe for me to say that I am a terrible fighter.  My timing isn't very good and I don't have a lot of flexibility.  On the plus side, I have a high pain tolerance and a "fight not to lose" mental attitude.  What all this adds up to is that I am a mini-tank.  I absorb a lot of damage in the hopes of landing 2 or 3 devastating hurting bombs.

I'm working on a 15 second push in which I punch very hard at whatever is in front of me intersparced with random leg and body kicks.  My hope is that my opponent will be so busy countering or blocking my punches that I will land some kicks.

I'm somewhat apprehensive about having to fight Big Red, PV2, or Mr. A (from Japan), but I've decided that I'm going to fight regardless.  I don't see why not.  I have nothing to lose.  Sure, both these guys are younger than me and lower ranking, but I don't have that kind of pride anymore.  The better fighter is going to win.  If I'm not good enough then I'm just not good enough.  Really and truly, I originally dropped out of fighting Full Contact because I felt that I was making Y* look bad.  After witnessing the behavior of some of our other Full Contact fighters, I realize that I should have kept on fighting anyway.  Truth be told, though, I was kind of tired of taking a beating and putting myself though all the hardships of training just so that I could be eliminated in the first round.  Now I'm at a point in my life where physical pain is the only real "feeling" that makes me feel alive anymore.  I've also finally focused all my mental energy into one task and it feels good to be temporarily set free of all the other burdens in my life. 

I know that this will most likely be the very last time I fight Full Contact.  I am excited and sad all at once.  Technically, I'm coming out of retirement to do this and I'm facing a field of competitors who quite simply are the best lightweight fighters we've had in the past 10 years.  Not only am I way outclassed, but I'm much older.  If I'm going to go out of the game, it might as well be among the best.  I just wish I was like George Foreman and had some sort of kitchen gadget to fall back on.

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